Adolescents and even preadolescents today are engaging in all kinds of sexual experiences, and they are doing it at younger ages than ever before. These students live in a world obsessed with sex, where sex is expected and sex is no big deal. With these influences, more and more teens will likely become involved in the tragedy of teenage sexual addiction.

For some teens sexually addictive behavior may be confined to constant thoughts about sex; for others, it may go a step further and result in compulsive masturbation, extensive use of Internet pornography (cyber sex), or calling toll numbers to hear explicit sex talk (phone sex). For others the addiction can lead to illegal activities such as voyeurism (observing others in nude or seminude situations from a secret vantage point, a Peeping Tom), exhibitionism (exposing ones genitals to others), inappropriately touching others, or even rape. ¹

SIGNS OF SEXUAL ADDICTION
As with any addiction or compulsive behavior, there are warning signs. These red flags should not be ignored. The following list includes many of the warning signs that are prevalent among students dealing with sexual addiction:

• Frequently telling sexual jokes or making sexual comments or innuendos 
  Engaging in sexual activity-especially with several partners 
• Spending considerable time in activities that could lead to sexual activity such as cruising for potential partners or spending hours online in chat rooms trying to hook up with others 
• Visiting pornographic websites or looking at pornographic magazines, books, or videos 
• Neglecting obligations such as work, school, or family in pursuit of sexual [...]

  Continue Reading “Hard Core – How to deal with students with sex addictions”

Students’ experience at home is the largest single factor in whether or not they will have a drug or alcohol problem early in life. The stress and pain from living in an alcohol- or drug-affected family can lead to the use of other substances.  Several steps need to be take place to enhance a family’s role in preventing alcohol or drug addiction. First, we must create family environments where it is not acceptable to be drunk or high on drugs. If a parent, other adult, or child has an alcohol or drug problem, someone must have the courage to address it.  Students’ spot hypocrisy faster than adults can speak it. We must talk clearly to our children about our expectations that they not drink, smoke, or take drugs – but our own behavior is must more influential than our words. Adults must model what they want youth to become.

All youth are at risk of developing substance abuse problems if they are exposed to addictive substances and use them repeatedly. But a number of risk factors increase the chances that they will become drug-involved, including:

Family history

• Alcoholism or addiction in the family

Family environment

• Domestic violence or child abuse
• Lack of adult supervision

Psychology

• Childhood aggression
• Lack of problem-solving
• Depression
• Compulsiveness

School

• Rejection by peers
• Lack of commitment to school

If a student has some of these risk factors, he or she is not doomed to become a substance abuser. Even kids at high risk may never develop an addiction. By taking steps now, you can help students avoid or delay any drug experimentation. [...]

Continue Reading “Students & Drugs! What’s Really Going On??”

YO!!!!!  On the real!!  I love these resources!!!  No matter what setting or culture you’re speaking too, these talks are CRAZY!!!  My students LOVED them and whenever you’re talking about sex, you’re going to grow your urban ministry!!  LOL!!!

I’m always looking for books, materials, and resources to help me minister to my students as well as my leaders.  When I need a fresh idea or I need to be reminded why I’m in the game, I use the following resources from Simply (www.simplyyouthministry.com)

Each week, you look at the girls in your church, and you dream about the opportunity to make a bigger impact in their lives. You envision a team of women coming alongside you, investing their time and talents to help teenage girls discover how beautiful and valuable they truly are. You imagine groups of girls gathering to talk about their life experiences and offering support and encouragement to one another. You picture moms and daughters experiencing healed relationships and new beginnings.

It’s just a dream—for now. But you can turn that dream into reality with the tools, tips, and training you’ll find in Girls Ministry from Start To Finish.

This resource is divided into two parts.

Part 1: The Strategy
Who will lead your girls ministry? How will you structure it? How will it benefit your church? What impact can you have on the girls in your congregation and community? This section takes you from “big picture” thinking all the way to hitting the ground running.

Part 2: The Tools and Resources
This includes stuff that will save you tons of times: event ideas, sample Bible studies, and suggestions for curriculum. Use them as-is or customize them for your ministry. They’re all yours. We’ve also tossed in some extra training resources on the challenges facing girls in today’s culture that you can distribute to your leaders. You’re welcome.

Unlock the passion and potential of your young women by launching a girls ministry committed to spiritual [...]

Continue Reading “My Favorite Things Part 3 – Dealing with DIVAS”

Helping develop spiritually mature, ministry-focused student leaders is one of the most effective ways you can spend your leadership energy. There are big payoffs when a youth ministry becomes a place where student leaders are identified, empowered, and released to serve and do ministry. Few aspects of youth ministry are as exciting as seeing students develop a heart to serve and lead.

To help you strengthen student leaders, Doug Fields has put together a series of six audio training lessons to aid teenagers who have a heart for God and ministry. Take these CDs, duplicate them for your students, and use them to help your student leaders grow in their faith, their heart for ministry, and their love for the church.

Topics covered are:

1. Servant oriented leadership – meeting needs without being asked.
2. Maintaining a vibrant and growing faith…on your own.
3. Developing a ministry that “fits” you.
4. How to develop ownership within your youth ministry.
5. Being a student leader away from the church – with family and friends.
6. How to invest in and influence others.

What’s included:

• 6 audio CDs, one for each topic
• 1 CD including all 6 audio trainings in MP3 format (for your digital students), and an MP3 overview from Doug on how he uses this resource and his recommendations

People always ask me how do I minister to hurting kids and what resources I use for them.  Well here is what I love to use:

LIFE HURTS GOD HEALS
Life Hurts God Heals is a completely comprehensive resource you can use to launch and run a ministry specifically to bring healing to these students. It includes all the curriculum you will need for leaders and participants, as well as all the behind the scenes stuff to help with everything from recognizing danger signs in teens to how to get this program up and running in your church.

Included are:

• 16 practical resources on starting a Life Hurts God Heals ministry
• DVD with student testimonies about the Life Hurts God Heals program
• Leader Guides in PDF and Word formats
• Student Workbooks (13 lessons) in PDF and Word formats
• Eight 30-minute sermons by Doug Fields in MP3 format
• Teaching transcripts of each sermon
• Student devotionals and journals
• Follow-up support group study
• Promotional materials, including sample parent letters, brochures, calendars, and more
• Administrative materials, including welcome signs, consent forms, graduation certificates, and more

Every element of this resource with the exception of the student testimonies is completely open for you to reproduce and edit for use in your ministry. We want you to be completely empowered and as effective as possible as you reach out to your students in need.

LIFE HURTS GOD HEALS LEADER’S VIDEO TRAINING KIT
Packed inside this DVD is a comprehensive training program on how to implement Life Hurts God Heals within [...]

Continue Reading “My Favorite Things Part 1 – Helping Hurting Students”

Man, I’m so sad that the Simply Conference is over and I have to say goodbye to Chi-Town!  I met soooooo many great people and I can’t wait until 2011!!!!  I loved all of the stories, jokes, and experiences!  To all my homies in the Urban Tracks, you guys are my HEROS!!!  It was just a great time.  For those of you asking about my favorite products, please check out www.simplyyouthministry.com.  I ‘m going to spend the next week doing a review of my favorite products and the ones that works the most in urban settings!  Thanks so much!!

One Love,

PJ