The past two weeks have been crazy at our church. It seems like the last few weeks we have put out a dozen fires with our students making poor choices. It started witha student leader who decided to skip school for 16 days. When she decided she did not like her new school. This student is in the 11th grade an cannot afford to mess up. Georgia law will allow the school to drop you if you miss over 15 days of school.
We then just learned that a student whose mom was away on a business trip just passed in a car accident. The student is having a tough time dealing with the death of her mom, as would any student.
To top it off we found out TODAY a student of ours has been charged with child molestation. His mom caught him inappropriately touching his 4 year old niece. Could you imagine a mom having to turn her son in for molesting her grand-child. They discovered this behavior has gone on for sometime after they interviewed the 4year old.
In youth ministry you have good and bad days. Sometimes you will go for weeks or months where you feel like everything is going well. Suddenly, things begin falling apart and you may feel youhave nothing left to give. In that moment of your weakness,God in his sovereignty lifts you up. It’s that support and comfort that helps you endure the hard times, the disappointments and the discouragement.In the midst of yourhardacheyou have to be a comfort and support for families.It’s at moments like this you have to be assured of your calling. It’s also in moments like this where the Lord expands and deepens you in your spiritual walk.
What tips do you have when dealing with pressures of student ministry? How do you stay encouraged in the midst of what seems like chaos.
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In the trenches of local youth ministry for over a decade, Pastor Jeffrey Wallace
(a.k.a. PJ) brings a fresh and relevant approach to how to develop and maintain an
effective, healthy, relevant youth ministry within the local church. [
Hey i just read this comment, and it was just what the doctor ordered. Youth ministry can be discouraging. I just found out some news about a staff member leaving from our team and i have only been here 8 months and this person 6. I kind of felt discouraged, but last night had a great time to be reassured of my calling here at this church and my commitment to these kids. The lord did take on another journey of trusting him that everything in it’s time will work out. Thank you for your candidness. It really blessed me today.
Wow…any one of those issues can require weeks or months of processing and follow up with students, parents, and leadership. This is absolutely the moment when you discover whether or not you’ve been staying spiritually fed. I’ve discovered that this is also the time to care for yourself physically. Here are a few tips for recovery that I’ve found helpful during the last 7 years of ministry:
- Get out in the sun! I know, it’s still the winter season in a lot of places. However, sun light and warmth have been proven to have a physiological effect on depression, anxiety, fatigue, and listlessness. Go to a restaurant and sit by the window in the sun. It works, honestly.
- Get a massage. I know, I know, in this economy?! You should be able to find a good 30 min. message for around $60. It really will help you to relax. A whirlpool or sauna are also great to relieve tension.
- Get some exercise. Talk a walk, ride a bike, shoot some baskets, or hit a punching bag. Spending 30-60 minutes doing moderate exercise will release some endorphins and loosen up tight muscles.
May the Lord bless you as you walk through this difficult time and may He renew you as never before!
I totally agree this can be a stressful time and I have to make sure that I’m having quiet times and times of solitude to be refueled and refreshed.
I’ve been struggling with disappointment in major ways in student ministry recently. I have no easy answers, but here’s how I’ve been moving forward…
#1. I’ve realized that I’m NOT the Holy Spirit. I can’t prompt kids to make the right choices at the very point of decision. It’s up to Him and the students as they listen to His promptings.
#2. I’ve realized that my life is NOT student ministry. I have a life outside of the ministry. I have friends and family to encourage when I get home. My wife, toddler, and baby don’t define me by my job title, and neither should I. I am not defined by my work or the result of my work (good or bad).
#3. I need to get away (like Jesus did to “lonely places”) to pray, reflect, hike, and refresh. I choose Starbucks or the gym.
Hang in there…
Yes, this is definitely a time to access myself and make sure I have God’s perspective on all the issues.
When things happen like you mentioned, I don’t know if there is any quick fixes. Emotions will take their toll and rock us a little bit, but as long as the emotions don’t overtake us I think it’s healthy that you get them out. However, I do think it’s important to realize that 1)Don’t blame yourself as hard as that might be 2)Jesus is still on the throne, even if we think he took a bathroom break for a couple hours 3)ask yourself, “what can I learn?” 4) focus on Jesus. Cliche i know, but honestly, isn’t that what the Bible tells us to do? (Heb. 12). Jesus is enough. Jesus+anything=wrong. Because of this, Jesus is your joy, passion, and reason for ministry. People will do stupid things, change, go crazy, go off teh deep end, but Jesus stays the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Thanks a lot for your input and suggestions. Great feedback
Be encouraged. Sometimes I think, we as Christians are our own worst enemies. We actually start believing “we will have no tribulations” if we just do this or that. For as long as we breath or until Christ’s return, there will be momments when we are “God Chasers”, desert dwellers, “lukewarm” and even Peter at the moment of denial. In all these stages God will continue to prompt us by asking “do you really love me?”. The answer is unequivocally YES, even though I have “issues”.
Grown Ups are not exempt!
One of the things that helps me through stressful times is being plugged into a network of other youth ministers in the area. They know what it’s like and can encourage me. They can also tell when I’m in over my head and when to let other authorities (senior leadership, professional counselors, local law enforcement and even parents) take over the situation so that I can tend to the rest of the flock.