Adolescents and even preadolescents today are engaging in all kinds of sexual experiences, and they are doing it at younger ages than ever before. These students live in a world obsessed with sex, where sex is expected and sex is no big deal. With these influences, more and more teens will likely become involved in the tragedy of teenage sexual addiction.

For some teens sexually addictive behavior may be confined to constant thoughts about sex; for others, it may go a step further and result in compulsive masturbation, extensive use of Internet pornography (cyber sex), or calling toll numbers to hear explicit sex talk (phone sex). For others the addiction can lead to illegal activities such as voyeurism (observing others in nude or seminude situations from a secret vantage point, a Peeping Tom), exhibitionism (exposing ones genitals to others), inappropriately touching others, or even rape. ¹

SIGNS OF SEXUAL ADDICTION
As with any addiction or compulsive behavior, there are warning signs. These red flags should not be ignored. The following list includes many of the warning signs that are prevalent among students dealing with sexual addiction:

• Frequently telling sexual jokes or making sexual comments or innuendos
  Engaging in sexual activity-especially with several partners
• Spending considerable time in activities that could lead to sexual activity such as cruising for potential partners or spending hours online in chat rooms trying to hook up with others
• Visiting pornographic websites or looking at pornographic magazines, books, or videos
• Neglecting obligations such as work, school, or family in pursuit of sexual activity
• Continuing to engage in illicit sexual behavior despite the negative consequences related to such activities
• Escalating the scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve a desired effect, such as more frequent visits to Web sites or sex with more partners
• Frequently isolating themselves from parents and friends and not informing others of their whereabouts
• Getting angry if someone shows concern or questions them about sex or their use of pornography
• Feeling irritable when unable to engage in some sort of sexual activity for a long period of time
• Making telephone calls with an 800 or a 900 prefix
• Becoming increasingly dishonest with other people ²

Those who work with sex addicts say that when someone meets three or more of the above criteria, that person has a problem with sexual addiction and needs intervention. Be aware of these signs, and ensure that parents of teens are familiar with them as well.

PREVENTION-THE BEST CURE
You are no doubt familiar with the old adage, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” That is certainly true with issues related to sex. Discussing sex with teenagers is not something that should be avoided. In fact, avoiding the subject will not make the questions and curiosity go away; it will probably only lead to more curiosity, which could lead to experimentation, promiscuity, and possibly addiction in some students.

When you are discussing matters related to sex in a youth group setting, make sure parents know what is being discussed and keep them informed. In addition, lead them in discussions about talking with their students about sex. True Love Waits® should also be an annual emphasis calling teens, as well as their parents, to sexual purity. Sex education from a biblical perspective should be the task of parents, but it should also be reinforced in the church.

In addition, here are some strategies to use with students in your church and to encourage your parents to use as tools of prevention:

• Encourage them to commit to using their eyes to look only at pure and wholesome things.
• Challenge them to commit to praying daily that God would protect them from sexual temptation.
• Ask them to find members of the same sex who are committed to purity to meet on a consistent basis and hold one another accountable.
• Challenge youth to memorize Scripture related to temptation such as 1 Corinthians 10:13; Hebrews 2:18; Psalm 119:9-11; and others. ³

AN IMPORTANT ROLE
Remember that addicts of any kind do not generally seek help on their own. More often than not, they are forced into getting help when a loved one is concerned about them, when a serious consequence is imminent, or by a court of law after an offense has been committed. While some addicts do not realize they have a problem, others do but believe they can and will stop. Unfortunately, they usually find it impossible to do so.

When dealing with any kind of addiction, it is also wise to know your limits. Since it is unlikely that you are trained in dealing with addictive behaviors, it is necessary to rely on others who are. It is always good to know Christian psychologists or others in your community who can either help you or refer you to the appropriate help a student may need.

You have a valuable role in helping students identify this problem, assisting them in finding help to deal with this crisis and supporting the individual and his or her family through the process as God directs you.

1 – Michael Herkov, Mark S. Gold, and Drew W. Edwards, “What Is Sexual Addiction?” Dr. John Grohol’s Psych Central [online] 6 February 2001 [accessed 22 June 2006] Available from Internet: psychcentral.com/ library/sexaddict_intro.htm.

2 – Michael Herkov, Mark S. Gold, and Drew W. Edwards, “Symptoms of Sexual Addiction,” Dr. John Grohol’s Psych Central [online] 6 February 2001 [accessed 22 June 2005]. Available from Internet: psychcentral.com/ library/sexaddict_intro.htm.

3 – “Teen Sex Addiction,” Porn-Free.org [online] [accessed 22 June 2005]. Available from Internet: www. pornfree.org/teen_sex.htm.

Dr. Tan Flippin is an Associate Professor of Christian Education and Director of Student Services at Mid-America Baptist Theological Seminary in Germantown, TN