Today’s teenagers don’t waste time with the peripheral questions of life. They shoot straight for the heart. If we give them a solid reason for something, they’ll probably buy into it. If not, they’ll ask the next question: So what?

1. Pure Mind: What goes into our minds influences our actions. For girls, that means being careful about things like teen magazines. For guys, it may be a struggle with pornography. Either way, there is a danger in teens setting their minds on things related to the opposite sex rather than on things above (Col. 3:1).

(Mind: Psalm 101:2-4; Romans 12:1-2; Philippians 4:6; Colossians 3:1)

2. Pure Emotions: In some ways, teens are natural givers – including giving their heart away too easily. Because they are so often driven by emotions, they naturally tend to sell out to the first sign of “true love.”

Proverbs 4:23 challenges us to guard our hearts. Remind your teen that love isn’t tied to a Hollywood interpretation of romance. Instead, love is rooted in sacrifice and selflessness, as demonstrated by Jesus.

(Emotions: Proverbs 4:23; Proverbs 19:2; Proverbs 21:5; 1 Corinthians 13:1-7)

3. Pure Speech: Teenagers thrive on words. Text messages, instant messages, blogging, and e-mails allow your teen to verbalize with others dozens of times a day.

Since words are such a precious commodity, make sure your teens understand the power of their words. The Bible reminds us that words can be a matter of life and death. The Bible also speaks out against inappropriate language and humor – including sexually charged words. Above all, remind your teens that they words reflect what’s in their hearts.

(Speech: Proverbs 18:21; Luke 6:45; Ephesians 4:29; Ephesians 5:3-4)

4. Pure Body: We can affirm sex as God’s gift and marriage as the appropriate place for sex. The key is helping teens understand that message because it’s completely different from what they’re getting from the world.

Culture bombards teens with distorted sexual messages. As a parent, work hard to affirm the goodness of sex and the importance of seeing it from God’s perspective. Discuss the dangers of not waiting; and if you teen has already slipped, let him or her know that God forgives – and model that forgiveness yourself.

(Body: Genesis 2:19-25; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7; 1 John 1:9)

5. Pure Life: In an over-sexed culture, protecting purity can be hard. Fortunately, God did not leave us alone to fight the battle ourselves. The “big picture” says that He has given us everything we need to live a spotless life through His power.

Help your teen remember that he is not alone. As they adjust their thinking to God’s way of thinking, they will start to “understand what really matters” in life.

(Life: Philippians 1:10; 1 Peter 1:13-15; 2 Peter 1:3-4)

Every successful student ministry venture begins with a group of passionate people who are willing to work together to create an innovative concept in response to a problem or need. Consider these noted patterns that are evident when ideas turn into successful ventures

Every venture starts out with a need or a problem.  Problems are often the sparks that set aflame innovation. Kingdom ventures are born out of yearning, need, and crisis. Before you can express a solution you need to eyeball the problem.

A successful venture almost always has the fingerprints of a number of people all over it. Innovation is about unselfishness. God calls the church to work as a body. There is holy interdependence in the creative process of ministry.

Don’t over-spiritualize the creative process. Many Christians do over-spiritualize. They wait in their proverbial hammock, waiting for the clouds to part and the ideas and solutions to fall from the heavens. Not so. True innovation is hard work.

A new idea should be dummied out. This usually happens in a small group. You lay out the idea using giant sticky pads and markers. It’s the time when the extraneous, odd, inappropriate, and obtuse features to your plans literally hit the cutting room floor.

The new concept or venture should experience and “alien invasion.” This alien invasion is the act of entrusting new eyeballs and opinions into the room for initial reactions and input. This invasion is a required step. You are wise to listen to others’ confusion and criticism. One tip: ask people who feel the freedom to challenge the team. Here are some super “C” questions to ask your group throughout the birthing process:

·             Will this idea CONNECT with our students and our vision statement?

·             Can we COORDINATE this even with the resources and people we have?

·             How will we COMMUNICATE it?

Finally, if you need to present your newly crafted plan or idea, plan your presentation. Most people don’t read and listen at the same time. Make the presentation and oral, team presentation just like the rest of the process. Develop ownership through the ministry team or work groups. Use the “alien invasion” to help you foresee the questions that will be asked during your innovative presentation. And don’t just communicate your plan; communicate your enthusiasm.

These universal principles of birthing an innovative ministry concept can help you and your student ministry team approach a new year of ministry with great confidence and originality.

Matt Tullos is a gifted worship and drama leader living in Nashville, Tenn. He is an editor in chief in leadership and adult publishing at LifeWay Christian Resources.

Well, the Chris Brown/Rihanna saga has been topping the headlines for a couple weeks now, ever since the one-time “IT-Couple” were no-shows at the Grammys after Rihanna was allegedly treated for injuries stemming from Chris’s physical abuse. Since then, at first Rihanna avoided addressing the press, but Chris–who has lost lucrative endorsement deals and the respect of many of his peers in the aftermath of this Ike & Tina-like scandal, and is currently free on $50,000 bail while the case is being investigated, has expressed his deepest apology for the incident.  Unfortunately, what happened to Chris and Rihanna happens in teen and young adult dating relationships everyday!  Sadly, we never hear about it because 99% of these individuals aren’t Grammy Award winners, but at the end of the day, Grammy or not, they’re ALL losers!!!!

What is Dating Violence?
Dating violence is a term describing any act or threat of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse by a member of an unmarried couple. Once thought to be rare, it is now understood to be a complex problem similar to domestic violence including its cyclical nature and systematic psychological weakening of the victim.

There are many misconceptions. Myths wrap things up in acceptable packages giving a false sense of security that it could never affect you or someone you know. Myths also serve to divert attention from the real issue and set up victims for a lack of intervention.  Statistics indicate that one in three people will experience violence in a dating relationship. Victims are from every economical, racial, religious, and social background. Women ages 16-24 experience the highest rates of intimate violence with the greatest risk of serious injury being from someone they know. Forty percent of young women report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. Surprisingly, that violence often takes place in the home of one of the couple.

When Does the Abuse Begin? 
Relationships seldom begin with abuse. Changes occur when power and control issues emerge. Constant phone calls and the need to be with her can escalate into verbal aggression, shoving, slapping, or full-blown physical assault. The initial charming person disappears but makes rare appearances typically after an abusive episode. The reality is, the personality seen the majority of the time is the real abusive person. The other personality is the façade, which may keep the victim involved for an extended period of time. In a survey of 500 young women (ages 15-24) 60 percent were currently involved in abusive relationships. Once in these relationships, it is difficult and often dangerous to get out. The abusive person does not let go easily.  Initially, behavior designed to control may seem loving or romantic. Frequent phone calls, following her, isolating her, and saying “I love you” early in the relationship can be seen as romantic gestures. Typically they are acts of control and power: huge warning signs that hopefully serve as deterrents to continuing a relationship. Unfortunately, this does not usually occur, because young girls and women are easily consumed with their own fantasy ideas and society’s message that they need a relationship. A subtle disintegration of self-confidence and self-esteem occurs. Degrading comments, not allowing the person to make decisions, circumventing contact with family and friends, and blaming the victim all tear away at mental and emotional health.

What Can Parents Do to Help?
Many factors contribute to abusive relationships, beginning with what a person is taught. Lessons of fairness, delaying gratification, patience, and respect help create an emotionally balanced adult. Developing a stronger self-esteem helps make one less likely to be victimized or the victimizer. When students are younger, parents may stress the importance of future plans. With guys, the focus is on the importance of building a sense of self and goals for achievement. With girls the primary focus is on their relationships, particularly romantic relationships. Girls are given the message that their worth is connected to someone other than themselves. Is it any wonder young women may become involved too early in a serious relationship or remain in unhealthy ones?

What Can Student Ministers Do to Help?
As one who influences students, a student minister can teach students to value themselves as the people God designed them to be. As both young men and women begin to understand their worth in God’s eyes, they will be less likely to fall into abusive relationships. In equipping students to minister to each other, students should be open and honest with each other. Teens need to be taught how to ask each other the difficult questions about abuse. If a teen suspects a friend is in an abusive relationship or that the friend is being abusive to the one he or she is dating, the teen should confront the friend. If the teen discovers information about abuse, he needs to know how to get the person to the help he needs or needs to know who to go to for help. A steady diet of Bible study in which teens are taught to respect and honor each other can lead students to healthier relationships. Research and discover current statistics or use newspaper articles that validate the fact that date violence is a real threat to teens. Finding “real” stories may help another teenager ask for help if she realizes that she is not alone in her personal story of abuse and pain.

This article is adapted from an article in Living with Teenagers by Sharon McGee, a licensed professional counselor and a marriage and family therapist.

Written by Tasha Levert

Reality check: Pornography is the third largest industry on the Internet today, ranked behind only software and computers. The ‘Net currently has 100,000 porn Web sites, and 200 new cybersex sites are created daily. That doesn’t even count e-mail, chat rooms, and other forms of contact. Scared yet?

Despite these staggering facts, many times we don’t give enough attention to the dangers of pornography in our students’ lives. Here are seven common myths about students and Internet pornography, along with some practical tips for responding to them.

Myth 1: Youth ministers and youth volunteers are exempt from the temptation of Internet pornography.
Before thinking about how pornography makes an impact on our students, we must look at how it impacts the Christian community as a whole. You’ve probably heard the numbers before: Countless individuals and leaders in churches share through surveys, at Christian rallies, and with counseling services that they struggle with pornography. If you are clergy or laity struggling with compulsive Internet pornography use, you are not alone. There is help, even online. Web sites such as www.xxxchurch.com, www.ChristianCounsel.com, and www.pureonline.com offer help.

Myth 2: Youth ministers must get online and view various Web sites to best help their students.
There is never a valid reason to do some Web site “research” in this area to try to understand what your teenagers are viewing. Even professional researchers on the topic of cybersex must avoid such temptations. Paul wrote, “I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil” (Rom. 16:19b).

When I began researching Internet pornography addiction, a pioneer in the field warned me about this, and the advice is solid. I believe steering clear of such sites has protected my spirituality, my marriage, and my family. I encourage you to do the same.

Myth 3: Only male students struggle with Internet pornography.
Both male and female students are seduced by the lure of online pornography. Forty percent of the extreme cases of pathological Internet activity is carried out by females. While males prefer to download pornographic images from the Internet, females favor virtual sex within the context of a relationship (for example, email or chat-room interaction), which often leads to real-life sexual encounters.

High percentages of girls involved in Internet pornography end up meeting their online partners and can easily become prey to any pedophile posing as an online lover. Youth ministers and volunteers must understand the dangers for both males and females. The temptation of cybersex is a church-wide (and not a gender specific) epidemic.

Myth 4: My youth parents are equipped to monitor their teen’s Internet involvement.
If students’ parents can’t reset their VCR clocks, then they’ll likely struggle with monitoring their teen’s Internet activities. Sex is limitless for today’s teen. Youth ministers must educate parents on how to help teens remain sexually pure while using the Internet. Read some tips on monitoring students’ involvement on the Internet: Tips for Parents with Teens on the ‘Net

Myth 5: Teens who have made the True Love Waits commitment understand that sexual purity means protecting themselves from pornography.
More than 1.5 million teenagers have made the True Love Waits pledge to sexual abstinence until marriage, but many of today’s teens define virginity as merely abstaining from sexual intercourse. You and students’ parents play a vital role in teaching that sexual purity is part of a lifestyle.

In addition to actual physical sexual purity, teens must learn spiritual and mental sexual purity as well. While some students don’t think touching, kissing, and fondling their partner’s genitalia counts as sex, some also do not consider cybersex involvement to be sexually impure. Youth ministers need to add Internet pornography education to their regular sex talks, praying for truly God-driven commitments to sexual purity in all areas.

Myth 6: My students do not struggle with gender identity problems.
Adolescence is at best complex, curious, transforming, confusing, and embarrassing. Now, imagine, in the midst of all this developmental chaos, having limitless access to sex.

Now imagine what it must feel like for some teens who are being bombarded with homosexual material via the Internet. Confusion is already present, and now Internet advertisements for the gay lifestyle seem interesting. Some teens may struggle with gender identity problems because they find homosexual porn interesting. Some may make rash decisions regarding who they are sexually because they are stimulated by gay Web sites.

Student ministers must become more sensitive to these and other the sexual orientation issues faced by their students. Rarely are such topics dealt with, unless jokingly. Cyberspace allows students to view all forms of sexual acts, and imprints of such acts are left in their minds for a lifetime.

Myth 7: There are no long-term consequences of Internet pornography.
Even though there’s little empirical research on Internet pornography and students, the following is worth considering. Teens who habitually interact with Internet pornography may:

1. develop a distorted view of sexuality – online relationships are not based in reality;

2.          begin to seek higher levels of sexual excitement;

3.          become sexually active at an early age;

4.          increase the possibility of contracting an STD;

5.          experience an increased sex drive that could result in a sexual compulsion or addiction.

Your lifestyle example as a leader, cybersex prevention education, parental involvement, and the work of the Holy Spirit are all needed components in helping students resist the snare of Internet pornography. Don’t give in to the common myths about students and Internet pornography, and be proactive in helping protect your students’ sexual well-being.

Of all the things distorted by sin, relationships—especially romantic ones—rank near the top of the list. In fact, young adults face more and more pressure every day to conform their relationships to ungodly standards. And it’s not enough to provide a negative reason to not do something. There has to be a plan. A hope.

In Song of Songs, Chuck Bomar breaks down the Bible’s sexiest book to reveal positive, godly principles for couples. Each of the five lessons reaches beyond a typical “5 principles of dating” message and is packed with practical information that students can apply to current and future relationships. From dating to divorce-proofing a marriage, this is a lesson series that can dramatically change the way people live their daily lives.

Lesson include:

• Introductions to Song of Songs
• Dating Relationships (Part 1)
• Dating Relationships (Part 2)
• Marriage – The Wedding Day
• Divorce-Proofing Your Marriag

1. EDUCATE: Educate the congregation about young adults and their needs. A good way to do this is through a Sunday service dedicated to young adult issues. If you have a minister ask him/her to do one, or consider asking a young adult in your congregation to do service on what it is like for them to be young and part of a UU spiritual community. Perhaps they could do it together.

2. INVESTIGATE: Find out what your congregation already does (or does not do) for young adults, and for youth as they age out of our youth programs. Do you have a young adult group? A youth group? An annual bridging ceremony that celebrates the transition from youth to young adulthood? What do you do to keep in touch with youth from your congregation after they graduate from high school?

3. INVITE: Be hospitable. Have a young adult greeter (official or unofficial) on Sunday morning who pays particular attention to the young adults who come to the worship service. Invite young adults to be a part of your congregation and its leadership.

4. WORSHIP: Ask a young adult to help you view the worship service through YA eyes. Who are the visible people in leadership? Is the service participatory? Ask a young adult to do a reading, light the Chalice or lead some music. What is the pace of the service, the music? Young adults generally like a variety of music. Take a moment to read “Weaving Worship to Welcome Young Adults”, which you will find in the information packet. Consider ordering the Soulful Sundown guide for some tips on making worship more contemporary.

5.ASK: If you have a few young adults in your congregation, gather them together and ask them what they need; worship, discussion, social time, service opportunities. Ask a young adult to share with you what they see when they walk through the door on a Sunday morning. Listen when they answer you.

6.PUBLICIZE: Hold well publicized, regularly scheduled meetings, in a public space, preferably at the church. Use different methods of communication: e-mail, web site, phone calls, flyers/posters and newsletters.

7.SUPPORT: Be an ally to young adults in your congregations but they need to provide the leadership for the group. Don’t patronize young adults by assuming they’ll do the nasty jobs around your congregation or that they’re children who need your guidance.

8. FOOD: After church brunches (or dinners before or after an evening worship service) are one of the most successful means for young adults to get connected with each other. Go every Sunday to an inexpensive restaurant; make sure it is the same place and same time for the folks who get there late. Consider having a dinner at the congregation to which non-young adult members bring the food.

9. BE INVOLVED: This generation of young adults volunteer at a higher rate than many older generations. They want to be involved with congregations that are involved with social justice and social service in the larger community. They seek opportunities connect their values to the larger world, so provide them in your congregation, and be prepared for the challenges that young adults will bring in this area.

Students are always dealing with some type of hurt, habit or hang up.  As youth leaders, we must teach them that the challenge of life isn’t avoiding pain (since that’s impossible), the real challenge is how to deal with pain when it happens. How to manage and heal from the wounds life inflicts on us. With this powerful three-week super-series by Doug Fields and Megan Hutchinson, you’ll be able to help students recognize and deal with the most painful experiences in their life. And most importantly, they’ll see how God can take their pain and use it to make beauty.

Lessons include:

• Hurt Happens
• Risking to Deal with Life’s Hurts
• Share Your Story—Student Testimony Sharing

You should check this product out! 

2009 – The Year of Prophetic Birthing

The Bible is a wonderful book. It is at times so simple that it can be explained to a little child and then at the same time so profound and esoteric that learned doctors have spent their entire lives contemplating its arcane meanings.

One of the recurring themes in the Bible is the tragedy of barrenness.

For some reason many of the women of the Bible battled with the burden of barrenness. And that sad and stubborn struggle is writ large over the lives of many of our Biblical matriarch.

In the Old Testament, Sarah struggles for 25 years with barrenness. And then later both dutiful Rebekah and beautiful Rachel also carry this same burden of barrenness, like a generational curse, into their perspective generations.

Later on in the Bible, Hannah will pray to God for a son for so long until she has no more words to say.

And later still, one of the greatest prophets to ever live will tell a barren woman that she is to have a baby boy. She is so choked with past disappointment that she can barely receive his prophesy.

And then … Elizabeth carries this barrenness theme with her right into the New Testament with all the pain and emptiness unchanged with the passing of the times.

But the thing that I noticed and feel compelled to share with you, is that ALL of these women — every single one of them — found deliverance, healing and fruitfulness in the power of God.
No matter how long they waited, God turned their barrenness into fruitfulness. The sorrows of the struggle was in all cases swallowed up by the Joy of their triumphs.

It doesn’t matter what you are waiting for or how long you have experienced barrenness in whatever area of your life. It is time to believe for fruitfulness in Jesus Name.

It doesn’t matter how great the barrenness – God is the author of fruitfulness and He is more than able to turn the situation around.

Prophetically I believe that this is a year of birthing.

I believe that the Holy Spirit of God is going to quicken our creativity, quicken our gifts, quicken our resources and quicken our faith and that out of the fruitless womb of prophetic destiny God is going to birth fruitfulness in this year.

I believe that the barren spiritual womb will be filled. And I believe that the waiting and empty places in our lives will be filled to overflowing.

So to borrow my pastors phrase “Get Ready, Get Ready, Get Ready” because this is the year of Prophetic Birthings for you.

Keep The Faith!
Dallas, Texas

Evangelist Chris Hill

Since your ministry will never run out of guys and girls, we’re helping you out with more small group curriculum designed to tackle issues relevant to each gender—from each gender’s point of view.

In Guy Talk Girl Talk 2: The Cure For Cooties, you’ll get ten weeks of ready-to-use—yet fully customizable—lessons, handouts, promotional materials and more. And while the material is written twice for separate guys and girls groups, the topics are the same for each lesson (like, you’ll both study “Temptation” at the same time), just one is geared for guys and the other is geared for girls. This not only saves you tons of time in prep, but it also gives you lots of opportunity for discussion in a mixed group later.

If you’d like to have almost three months of biblically-based material for you students, this is it. Your students may never look at each other the same way again (praise God!).

Topics include:

Help your students see themselves, and each other, as God created them to be.

If you’ve always struggled with the stereotypical quiet – time, don’t give up hope!

You’ve been told that you’re supposed to spend time with God. You’ve valiantly set your alarm clock an hour early or worked partway through some ambitious study guides, but sooner or later your busy life creeps back in and steals your resolve. Why do you consistently fail at your quiet times? Maybe it’s because you’ve bought into somebody else’s unrealistic, unsustainable idea of what time with God ought to look like.

Lose the guilt. Drop the unrealistic expectations. You can connect with God stay spiritually full. Doug Fields, pastor at Saddleback Church, offers a simple, uncomplicated plan that you can carry out. All you have to do is: STOP, BE QUIET, MAKE A CONNECTION.

Simple. But not simplistic. If you can practice these habits throughout your day, you will enjoy a new depth and fullness in your spiritual life.

Book includes group study guide and questions. For more information, go to www.simplyyouthministry.com