This last year in ministry has been one of the most mentally and physically challenging for me. I’m learning to live in a place of surrender and dependency on the Holy Spirit, definitely. I think it’s just the trials that we all face to make us stronger and to deepen our faith.I’m discovering as I have been on my journey, many of my friends have been on the same journey just in different ways. I ‘m learning to appreciate this seasoning in my life and to be  thankful for all the resources created for such a time as this! 

 I read Doug Fields book “What Matters Most” a few years ago. I decided to really re-calibrate myself this year and read it again. It was exactly what I needed, again. I suggested the book to a great friend of mine who is not in Youth ministry. I felt the book was written broad enough to captivate a vast number of audiences, regardless of your career or ministry roles. The principles transcend for anyone not just youth workers! My friend was really impacted by the book and wanted to write her thoughts here on SimplyUrbanMinistry Blog!

 When I began reading the book “What matters Most”, I amazed out how someone else in the world totally understood what I was feeling and experiencing at the exact moment. For so long, I wore my busyness as a “badge of honor” and if you weren’t working at least to the same level of intensity, then you weren’t really that serious for the Kingdom of Christ. But underneath my badge of honor were scars and new wounds of chronic fatigue, anxiety, soul neglect, relationship disappointment, family absenteeism, poor physical health, and a lack luster life. It was at this moment that I realized that my constant hurried turbo-pace of doing ministry was not healthy. I literally at the moment had to ask God to help me undo the bad decisions and poor boundaries that were leading me down the path to an inevitable life crash.  This book applies to everyone that serves in ministry, especially those that do it in full time a capacity, because for this unique sector of the population our work and ministry often morph into one entity that consume everything.  This book was literally a saving grace and I thank God for my best friend recommending the book.  My friend could see that my heart do the work of the ministry was enormous, but the method by which I was getting it done for some 13 years now was heading me for a life crash. After all, I wanted that abundant life that God promises in scripture, but what I had begin to settle for was everything contrary to that in the name of serving God, and the work of God was impacting my relationship with God. This book isn’t saying stop serving! This is not that book!  But it does help you see that you can be more effective if you know what matters most. You know, those things that you want to say “yes” to like, family, meaningful friendships, significant others, ministry or important tasks God has called you specifically to do.  The first important yes in our lives is to a vibrant, personal, intimate and growing relationship with Jesus Christ. 

 I think sometimes Christian forget that scripture tells us that “His yoke is easy, and his burden is light”.  I learned from this book that I must make the daily decision to honor the things in my life that are worth the “yes”, and have the courage to say “no” to those things, even with the best of intentions, that will lead me a hurried life of insignificance.

 Lynnette Roberts

Written by: Volunteer Youth Leader Shawnice Wilson

Shawnice wrote this letter after our team traveled to Orlando for the Youth Pastor Summit last week. Shawnice has volunteered in youth ministry for over 10 years. She and her husband have dedicated their lives to student leadership development.

I was thinking this morning that our youth workers could use a word of thanks.  I attended a Youth Pastor’s Conference this week.  It had great speakers and entertainment and it offered a time of refreshing and refocusing that was much needed for me.  Yet, there was one thing that bothered me.  There was a question that was asked in two of the sessions I attended – one a main session and the other a breakout session.  The question was “How many of you have ever thought about quitting youth ministry?”  I saw tens to maybe hundreds of youth ministry volunteers throw their hands into the air.  What I saw made my heart sink.  I immediately began to think “What can we do?  What’s missing?  What’s lacking?  Is it that they lack the spiritual depth to handle such a position, the greater understanding of what it means to be a youth worker – sacrifice?  Is there a training that we can provide to help these distraught youth workers? 

In all my years of youth ministry, I have never felt that way.  Frustrated – yes, disappointed -yes, in awe of parent responses and student mistakes – yes, but never have I had the desire to quit.  I have also never been the top guy (Youth Pastor) so maybe this has something to do with it, but I have been a leader in youth ministry.  I thought is there something that I have that I can transfer to them – hope, inspiration, whatever – so that they never come to that place again?  Is there something I can do to help them be empowered to the point that the thought of quitting never rises to the top again?  I immediately began to chronicle thoughts of topics in my mind and I even wrote some down.  I then decided to talk to my Youth Director (Pastor) about my feelings on what I had experienced.  We dialogued for a while and in the conversation he said something that resonated with me.  He said, “Sometimes what they need is encouragement.”  So here goes.

For every time the parent’s came to you with their extremely negative comments, off the wall remarks, far left understanding of what was going on, and even direct attacks on your person and you came back at them with the love of CHRIST, even though this may not have been what you were feeling inside (LOL!) – THANK YOU!

For your countless hours of service in front and behind the scenes and your willingness to be inconvenienced continually – THANK YOU!

For your face being the only representation at the football game, for encouraging the young lady who had no hope or confidence in herself, for loving the students in spite of who they are – THANK YOU!

For your heart to serve the LORD faithfully – THANK YOU!

For everything you do – THANK YOU!

You may not see the fruit immediately but what you say does matter.  Don’t be discouraged by the texting during your messages, the blank stares, and seeming lackadaisical, apathetic behavior of the teens in your ministry.  They hear you.  I say this because I was one of those teens. I grew up in a very traditional church.  I wasn’t feeling their way of living.  However, I was forced to sit there week after week and listen to the messages presented.  Now, I am glad that I did.  There were probably pieces of several messages that have impacted my decisions since then, but there is one that I remembered some years later that saved my life.  It was a message on the reality of hell.  In that moment when I thought just briefly to take my life, that message came back to my mind.  It was a simple statement from the message.  The minister said that in hell I’d burn forever without any relief.  I knew that I did not want that, that I wanted to go to heaven to avoid such an eternity.  This is all just to say that what you do does matter.  BE ENCOURAGED!  DON’T YOU EVER GIVE UP!  Your life, your call, your heart, your passion matters more than you could ever know.  So, for all the students that have never said it, but that have experienced life change I would like to say – THANK YOU!

 Shawnice Wilson

As we launch into 2009, one the most important things I want to make sure that I do this year is to cultivate authentic relationships with those who serve with me. I’m a very relational person but this task becomes very difficult when you lead a larger group of people. I have had to be very creative to make sure people know that I don’t care about them because of what they do. I care about people because of who they are. In the busyness of life, trying to balance family, work, ministry, and your personal life this can be a difficult task. It’s easy as a leader to make this requirement for those you lead but are you implementing REALationships in your life. Volunteers and staff need to know you care about them. You must speak their language. I know many times last year; I missed it. It was too much for me. There is no way possible I can care for everyone on my team. In years past, I had a strategy of pouring into the leaders and having them pour into those who serve under them.  This strategy didn’t work across the board this year. Jesus gives us the very example in how he poured into his disciples. Jesus poured into a few and they poured into the multitude.

My plan for this year is to have “One on Ones” with each ministry leader. In my one on ones; I like to get to know my leaders on a more personal level. I try to make the time with them, as informal as possible. The questions start by asking them, “How they are doing”. People need to know you care about them and what goes on in their lives. This has awakened me to many things in the past and gave me a greater understanding of those who serve with me. I make it a point to ask them about their family, jobs and personal goals. Ministry is the last thing we talk about, if it even comes up. This has been a very important strategy in developing Leaders who care about others. Caring for leaders is what it is all about. I have a few questions for you? How do your leaders know you care? How do you wish you were cared for as leader?

Stay tuned for part two of Making time for REALationships