Subscribe to the NetworkDealing with Conflict in the Church part 2
I recently had to ask myself some hard questions and then take my situation to my leader. This was uncomfortable, but I needed to be open and honest to deal with the situations that involved my life. I found myself drifting and I needed to address the core issues. Although the situation issue is still in progress, I have peace because I have been open and honest with those I needed to address. Before I approached my leader there were a few things I had to do to make sure I had the spirit of love and not come to them as the accuser of the brethren! I’ve seen many relationships destroyed because of the way conflict was handled. We must remember we cannot handle conflict like its handled in the world. Our thinking must be kingdom minded, and preserving the relationship must be the main focus. When preserving the relationship is not the focus, it opens the door for the situation to become ugly and hurtful.
- We must commit to speaking the truth the bible tells us in Ephesians 4:25 to lay aside falsehood and speak the truth to our neighbor.
- Commit to maintaining a Christ-like attitude one of meekness and gentleness. Meekness is strength under control. When emotions are high it is easy to lose control. In your efforts to be bold like the world teaches us, we may become rude. Meekness does not mean being timid but it is one of controlled strength.
- Don’t seek to be right or justified. Make sure you listen to others as they listen to you. Try to see both sides of the situation but actively listen; don’t listen to try and prove your point.
- Stand on God’s truth. Truth can captivate our thought process. Truth can demolish arguments and pretensions. Truth reveals sin!
- Remember to look below the surface. The person’s motives may be pure but due to lack of miscommunication, they may be misunderstood.
- Always seek a resolution that glorifies God and His purposes, not you.
- Seek to resolve the conflict by finding resolution for all involved. Sometimes resolution may be a compromise, but if our intentions are not to be right. We have a better chance of resolution if we take the concerns to heart and consider how they affect those around us.
Remember, unbelievers are unattractive to believers when we handle situations like the world. Infighting, divisions and interpersonal conflicts have been the cause of many church splits than any other factor. If we are divided and focused on ourselves, then we are not unified to deal with Satan. Conflict breeds room for the enemy to create havoc if it is not dealt with properly.
Take an inventory of yourself. What are you doing to resolve the conflict? Are you taking ownership of any part, or just blaming others? Are you listening? Is there a deeper root to what has caused the conflict (projection)? Are you under stress? What do you have to gain or lose in this confrontation? Are you seeking to resolve or just be right?
Conflict and anger have the potential to be destructive forces or powerful impetus for renewal, change, and transformation. They are not bad if they are bathed in meekness, gentleness, and humility. I’m no longer afraid of conflict; I love confronting it because I see it as an opportunity to destroy the enemy’s strategic plans!
I challenge you to confront conflict as you embrace Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for the building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen”.
