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Today’s teenagers don’t waste time with the peripheral questions of life. They shoot straight for the heart. If we give them a solid reason for something, they’ll probably buy into it. If not, they’ll ask the next question: So what?
It’s important for parents to focus on the “so what” questions. In a culture that tends to belittle – or deny – truth, sharing the why is as important as the what. In terms of purity, that includes providing a “big picture” view that includes more than just saving yourself for marriage. It takes in all of life. Your task is to help your teen see that purity is about more than just what happens in the bedroom. Here are five areas you can address to provide a more complete look at living a life of purity.
1. Pure Mind: What goes into our minds influences our actions. For girls, that means being careful about things like teen magazines. For guys, it may be a struggle with pornography. Either way, there is a danger in teens setting their minds on things related to the opposite sex rather than on things above (Col. 3:1).
(Mind: Psalm 101:2-4; Romans 12:1-2; Philippians 4:6; Colossians 3:1)
2. Pure Emotions: In some ways, teens are natural givers – including giving their heart away too easily. Because they are so often driven by emotions, they naturally tend to sell out to the first sign of “true love.”
Proverbs 4:23 challenges us to guard our hearts. Remind your teen that love isn’t tied to a Hollywood interpretation of romance. Instead, love is rooted in sacrifice and selflessness, as demonstrated by Jesus.
(Emotions: Proverbs 4:23; Proverbs 19:2; Proverbs 21:5; 1 Corinthians 13:1-7)
3. Pure Speech: Teenagers thrive on words. Text messages, instant messages, blogging, and e-mails allow your teen to verbalize with others dozens of times a day.
Since words are such a precious commodity, make sure your teens understand the power of their words. The Bible reminds us that words can be a matter of life and death. The Bible also speaks out against inappropriate language and humor – including sexually charged words. Above all, remind your teens that they words reflect what’s in their hearts.
(Speech: Proverbs 18:21; Luke 6:45; Ephesians 4:29; Ephesians 5:3-4)
4. Pure Body: We can affirm sex as God’s gift and marriage as the appropriate place for sex. The key is helping teens understand that message because it’s completely different from what they’re getting from the world.
Culture bombards teens with distorted sexual messages. As a parent, work hard to affirm the goodness of sex and the importance of seeing it from God’s perspective. Discuss the dangers of not waiting; and if you teen has already slipped, let him or her know that God forgives – and model that forgiveness yourself.
(Body: Genesis 2:19-25; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7; 1 John 1:9)
5. Pure Life: In an over-sexed culture, protecting purity can be hard. Fortunately, God did not leave us alone to fight the battle ourselves. The “big picture” says that He has given us everything we need to live a spotless life through His power.
Help your teen remember that he is not alone. As they adjust their thinking to God’s way of thinking, they will start to “understand what really matters” in life.
(Life: Philippians 1:10; 1 Peter 1:13-15; 2 Peter 1:3-4)
